On Being Old and Single

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A guy once told me all women have expiration dates. He is a firm believer that if a woman reaches a certain age, she must start finding a mate, get hitched and procreate, just as dictated by society. I find this idea ridiculous since I’m nearing thirty. Yup, in two years, I’ll hit the big 3-0. Even at this point, girls my age are either getting hitched or already have a kid or two. Am I worried that I may potentially not get married any time soon? Not the least bit, to be quite honest.

You have no idea how many times I have to put up with “Mag asawa ka na” or “Wala ka pa bang boyfriend” bit each time I attend a freakin reunion.

Why can’t women reach their 30’s, be unmarried, and not be seen as strong, independent, individuals who made a choice to live the way they chose and not be  defined as being complete only when they find a partner in life? Why are single women who are “past their prime” be deemed as sad, shriveled up old creatures who are about to die a lonely death because they chose to live beyond the norm? More importantly, why are some people still so stuck in the dark ages?

Well, I’m not really gonna go all Girl Power or anything. I mean, sure, being old sucks, especially for women. Skins do sag. Butts aren’t as plump as they used to. Generally, things are not as “tight” or as “in place” as they once were. But that doesn’t mean we are less of the person we used to be, right? I wasn’t like any other girls who saw themselves getting married at a certain age or know exactly the kind of gown they want to wear on their wedding day.

Of course, sometimes I wish I could have done things differently but these things are not related in any way to being married. For instance, when I was young, I’ve always pictured myself as being this insanely successful cartoonist with an awesome strip on the widest circulated daily in the Philippines. When life happened and I didn’t go down that road, I wanted to write for The Philippine Daily Inquirer, which again, didn’t happen. I became a content writer instead. Some people, myself included, tend to regret certain choices they made in their lives. While I do not regret being a writer, I do regret not following that childhood dream. I did not become the person I always wanted to be as a child.

The point is, even with no kids, no foreseeable prospects and no interest on what the future holds, I chose to live this life like this. I feel like I am exactly where I should be and there is no shame in admitting that I’m all this and turning 30 in a couple of years. Sure, I feel old but my age has nothign to do with it. Certain times in my life made me feel old.

Malalaki lang talaga ang isyu ng iba pagdating sa edad, no? Well, fuck the norm. It’s the year 2000, for fuck’s sake.

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Tina Lee

Tina Lee-Almazar is a writer with an insatiable appetite for all things bright, shiny, and beautiful. She's a beauty junkie, a shopping connoisseur, a book collector, a purse addict, and a budding mom-tepreneur. Tina has a long-standing (and well-documented!) but one-sided love affair with cats. Special talents include: the ability to eat again an hour after eating, shopping at 3 different malls in 1 day, and taking a 3-hour power nap every day including weekends.

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