Archives for March 2014

Raising children as a single parent is definitely not a picnic but raising a teen daughter as a single father is certainly challenging. This is because as a daughter hits puberty, her body goes through all sort of changes and she needs someone to relate to, someone who can guide her through these changes and assure her that everything will be okay. As a father to two teenage daughters, I may not be able to relate much about the changes their bodies are going through but I try to be there and offer my support as long as they need it.

Raising a teen daughter will require Herculean patience but it’s well worth it. Setting responsibility limits as well as showing her that she is loved are two important things to remember when dealing with teenagers. As long as you become a contributing, rather than a controlling figure in her life, things will be okay. If you play an active part in your teen daughter’s life, and have long established a supportive, honest and loving father-daughter relationship with your child then you have very little to worry about especially during the dreaded “rebellious teen” phase.

While there’s no sure-fire ways to deal with challenges that comes with raising a teen daughter, I am listing down several tips that will help you raise your daughter as a single father:

Give Her Room To Breathe

Just like men, women need breathing room for themselves. Your daughter will need her own “me time” especially if she is going through different physical, mental and emotional changes as most teens do. But remember, as much as your daughter needs her mother during this crucial moment in her life, she will also need her father.

Get Expert Advice on Women: Talk To Other Women

If you find yourself dumbfounded dealing with your daughter’s queer mood swings, it’s time to call in the experts, talk to other women. Start with female family members like a sister, an aunt, grandmother and even a close female friend. Don’t be afraid to ask questions in order to understand your teen daughter’s behavior. Go out there and get as much information as you can so the next time your daughter going through something, you know exactly what to do and how to deal with it.

Value Her Privacy

If you are confident that you have raised a loving and responsible teen daughter then there’s absolutely no reason to worry about what she does outside the parameters of your home. So refrain from sneaking into her room and going through her things. Your teen daughter is at a point in her life where she wants to be treated like an adult. Trust your child to know right from wrong and believe in your own ability as a parent.

Discussing Dating, Sex and Relationships

This might be the one of the most dreaded stage of any parent regardless of your offspring’s age and it’s so easy to mess it up too. When it comes to dating, it’s important to establish ground rules from the start so there’s no confusion later on. It’s equally important to give your honest stand on dating, alcohol drinking and boys. This way, when she does start to like someone or is having problems in these areas, she’ll know the first person to get advice from.

Just when you thought you knew your child, puberty hits and it feels like the once rambunctious ball of energy that gave you so much joy turned into a completely different person. One that dresses like an old man, resents authority with a passion and have a devil-may-care-attitude to match.

They grow up so fast, don’t they?

Suddenly, it feels you are living with a moody stranger in your own home. Every conversation drifts into a shouting match. You are bombarded with questions you are not entirely comfortable answering. From the bubbly boy who comes rushing to you after school, he now spends the most part of the night locked up in his room.

Relax, it’s just hormones. He is at the point of his life when he needs answers, where he needs to feel in order to learn, to experience the world and discover the possibilities.

Of course, raising a teen is not without its challenges. If anything, even getting your teen to talk to you will require more effort. Dealing with a clammed-up teen is not as impossible as it looks. We’ve listed down great ways to re-establish connection or stay connected with your teen:

Communication is Key

There’s no easy way to establish communication between a parent and a resentful teen but it’s important to never give up. Listen to his feelings without judgment and don’t shut them out completely when your opinions differ from theirs. No blame game, no I-Told-You-So, even when the point of the issue is staring you in the face.

Start by letting your teen vent out his feelings without letting out snide remarks on the side. Interrupting might only lead to him withdrawing away from you or worse, it could turn casual conversations into a fight. Respond to your teen in a non-judgmental way and try to put yourself in his shoes. This will encourage him to talk to you more when he is going through personal or emotional conflicts.

Changing Moods, Changing Tastes

As kids grow, moods change and taste in clothes, food, etc. change along with it. One of the main causes of friction between teens and parents is most parents cannot cope with these changes. They tend to stick to what they knew about their offspring as a child rather than get to know the blossoming adults that they are now. You cannot expect your teen to share the same taste in music nor have the same views about the world as you. He is different from you because he’s not your clone. It’s important to at least recognize different perspective towards things and just give your teen enough freedom to let him express himself otherwise, he might go looking for acceptance in all the wrong places.

It All Boils Down To Acceptance

Teenage years are perhaps one of the hardest periods to deal with as parents. The differences in opinions create friction and this often leads to massive rows.

It might be difficult to accept, you might not be able to wrap your head around the idea completely but it’s time to come to terms to the fact that your little one is all grown up. This means the baby you held in your arm in the delivery room has now evolved into the sulking heap of angst in the living room.

As the adult, you need to accept that your teen needs a certain level of independence in order to thrive. At some point in their lives, they’ll move out of your home and they will live the life they see fit. The transition would be much easier if you start preparing your teen to live life independently, one step at a time.