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Archives for November 2010

Disco(rd)

November 13, 2010 by Tina Lee Leave a Comment

Being in a new relationship, you take the good with the bad. So far, things with the boyf are easy breezy. It’s pretty awesome to be with someone who can turn even the most inane things into an exciting adventure. The gist of it is that I’m happy, he said he is happy and we are in love.

Of course, while things with the boyf is more than great, things with the sister is turning sour.

So get this, the sister is not taking things well. She admitted that she is having bouts of possessiveness and that she wishes I would think things through before I enter into a relationship mostly because she feels like she is losing a part of herself. So now that I have a boyf, she won’t talk to me. She feels sad that things has come to this and has become quite unreasonable these past couple of weeks.

Suddenly I have a curfew.

Suddenly she freaks out whenever I clean the house.

Suddenly the amount of cigs I buy is met with questions

Suddenly she starts commenting about how much time I spend Facebooking and generally being online.

Suddenly everything I do is met with suspicious looks and questions with accusatory undertones

Suddenly she stops talking to me.

It’s a bit hard and I’ve been trying my best to reach out to her but she sister won’t budge. The boyf has, so far, been nothing but understanding, which I appreciate, but I’ve always been a firm believer that you must never indulge a person’s immaturity all the time. My sister is having a complete meltdown. I know meltdown, we go way back. I’m not exactly the most mature person on the face of the planet but unreasonable is unreasonable. There is no justifying that.

A couple of friends advised me to continue making “lambing” to my sister and I did. Of course, I’m being shot down all the time and it’s quite tiring. I tried reaching out to no avail and now I’m trying out a different approach, giving her space until she comes into terms with whatever issues she may be having about me, being in this.

I’m going to rant forĀ  a bit here because frustration and annoyance has been building up for days now. I’m freaking 27, I know what the fuck I’m doing. I do not see why I have to consider other people’s feelings every time when clearly, this is none of their business.

I want to be selfish. I want to go out and spend time with the boyf but I can’t. I’m being dragged down by a sister who, from the looks of it, is worst than my mom in terms of being a mom. She refuses to talk to me and yet would give me that look whenever I am an hour late from my curfew. I agreed to the damn thing because I wanted to do what I can to make her feel okay about this. I don’t have to agree to that bullshit and there is nothing in this world that could make me unless I choose to. And I did. Because I have to consider her feelings. Does she ever consider mine?

Why does some people have to be selfish and difficult? Why can’t they just be fucking happy for me? You know, I was never the type of person who seeks approval or support from anyone on anything. Sure, it would be nice if some people can find it in their hearts to just be happy for me but it is not something that I expect from people. I just want her to stay out of my business, is that too much to ask? If she can’t deal with it, I want to not talk about it at all. But she wants to talk about it. She wants to know what’s happening. And yet she can’t just let me go.

Seriously, how many 27 year olds do you know have a curfew of 1fucking AM? I used to go out all the time and come home mornings and I never had any problems. Despite assuring my sister that I will not be doing anything that would make her want to grab me by the hair and haul my ass back to the province, she wouldn’t give me a shred of trust. It’s a real inconvenience considering the fact that she refuses to give me the weekends to spend with the boyf. Instead of going out and having fun, we freaking slept all weekend. In silence. It’s such a complete waste of our time.

I have been nothing but accommodating to my sister’s demands and yet she won’t cut me some slack.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

:|

November 13, 2010 by Tina Lee Leave a Comment

Things are not good, at least as far as I’m concerned. Certain things have happened months ago and it has been a constant struggle. I guess this is what I get for trying to please everyone. I’ve come to accept that there will be darker days. It’s kinda new to me. I was never the type who dread December and now that I do, I don’t know what will come out of it. Things between me and the sister is not good. It never got better and it annoys the heck out of me. This thing, I have going on, it brought out the worst in her.

The things between me and the boyf, I’d like to keep that private . My work is too difficult to do these days. I hate that nothing is going my way and to top it all off, I haven’t done my Christmas shopping yet. That, and I lost my phone. Things have been very sucky lately.

Weirdly enough, I feel that I forcibly isolated myself from people. I do not see my friends anymore. I suddenly got too busy with everything. And I’m never busy. Now that I am, in fact, truly busy, I hate it. Sometimes I wish things were a bit simpler. Maybe I need a new hobby. I’m not having fun anymore.

Filed Under: Just Sharing

Not Self-Serving At All.

November 13, 2010 by Tina Lee Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Just Sharing

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