Archives for June 2009

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I just watched an old Rico Yan starrer titled, Got 2 Believe. I know it might sound like I’m making up an excuse for watching an overly-cheesy film but the thing was, there‘s nothing good on TV. I almost forgot how cute Rico Yan was until I checked out this film. Claudine was at the peak of her career… that much I can tell from her ginormous rack. There were some ngilo-moments but overall, it’s a cute movie. Not something I’d pay to watch but something I’d watch if it’s for free.

I wish Rico didn’t die.

*****

I got several messages from this guy I used to be in-like with. I made the mistake of accidentally disabling the stealth setting of my IM, something I can’t figure out. So there. He’s been persistently trying to reach me all year long but I always ignored him. I was that pissed. I’m still pissed but at this point I don’t care as much about the issue as before. He sent out like, 8 messages in rapid succession.

Yesterday was different though. I was actually tempted to respond. I wanted to ask him if he’s okay. And maybe wring a confession out of him, herher. I must admit I miss talking to him. I mean, one of the reasons why I liked him was because he’s so smart. He also has this quirky sense of humour which is so cute. He has a way of making you feel like you’re the only person in the room and you have his undivided attention. He’s so dorky and yet he’s such a badass without meaning to be.

We could’ve conquered the world, him and I.

Despite that, I still chose to ignore him. He’s the devil.

I could block him from sending me messages but I don’t have the heart to do that. His last message read “Please respond to any of my messages if you have the time, take care”

Ay. So cute. I heard he’s leaving for the US. Oh, well.

In spite of everything, I wish him happiness. I wish he wishes the same thing for me and that God would hear his prayer for my own personal happiness loud enough that He’d finally relent and introduce me to my Prince Charming already. Because waiting for the right one to come along stinks donkey balls.

*****

Speaking of waiting, I think that’s what I’m meant to do in this life. To wait. For everything. Wait for a fucking phone call, wait for the right guy, wait for my damn steak, wait for a stupid cab ride, wait for the check. Endless fucking waiting. I’m a… wait-er.

*****

Michael Jackson died and quite frankly I’m in shock. You know, I’m the kind of person who rarely cares for other person’s welfare other than my own but I was genuinely saddened by MJ’s demise.

Haaay… peace to the King.

*****

I used to hate posting shit on forums. I hated it. I think my hate for forum posting stemmed out from my SSN days. But now, I actually enjoy talking to people on the forums. It’s kinda fun especially if they talk about things that has nothing to do with porn.

*****

I attended a PTA meeting for my little brother. I was late as usual but that didn’t stop me from bagging the VP post. I’m not interested with these kinds of shit but I was too shy and too flabbergasted to say anything because it was the mom of Waki’s best friend who nominated me. Hrmmm.

*****

I wish I’m a ninja or a Samurai master. Actually, I wish I was born Japanese, living it up in Tokyo. Being in a third-world country really sucksass.

*****

I’m thinking about buying a netbook, preferably an HP mini, sometime soon. If I’m gonna take that home-based gig, I need something smaller and much, much more portable lappy than this one.

*****

Please God, make that Aussie dude call me. Because I don’t wanna go homebased but if I have to, I will.

I’m a bit tired of waiting and I fear that if I don’t score a job by next week, I might take another shot at the Porn gig that a friend of mine offered last week.  I really, really hate the idea of going back doing the same old shit (especially since its home based) when I swore I’d stay away but at this point I’m tired and poor. Mama needs a new digicam, books, shoes and a few lappy accessories. My sister, who knows fair well how greedy I am, told me to disregard the fact that I’ll get the fattest pay check ever in my career and told me to just wait it out a bit. Porn isn’t that bad, I think.

Fuck, what am I saying?!

You know the last of your resolve is about to slip away the minute you start rationalizing the worst of ‘em.

There are actually a lot of things at stake if I ever decide to take that job. One would be the end of my already-stricken social life. Doing home based work means I’m bound to stay here in this shitty town and I don’t think I’m ready to watch my life drift away. Then there’s the fact that working from home would surely aggravate my anti-social tendencies, making it difficult for me to work or socialize with other people if ever I decided to haul my ass yet again to the bright city lights. Lastly, being here for a long time will make it difficult for me to leave. Taena. Things are so complicated. But I need monies. Like NOW. I want to roll in dough and burn ‘em by buying anything I could get my grubby hands on.

I wish the guy from Lavish channel would hire me already.

I had a phone interview yesterday all the way from Sydney. The guy is looking for a copywriter and I was lucky enough to be short-listed. The job sounds quite interesting. Plus, if given the opportunity, I’ll be working for a lifestyle channel which is some sort of a dream of mine. I’m not keeping my hopes up though. If there’s one thing I learned from this experience it’s that there’s always someone better. Someone cheaper. Someone younger. Someone less prone to inexplicable outbursts.

Naturally, I’ve developed a thick skin when it comes to rejection.

But months and months of searching for that one, almost-perfect company and ending up with countless dead-ends, it’s taking longer than I expected. I know I shouldn’t be too picky but I’d be damned if I go through another Enfra-situation any time soon.

I don’t think I can wait for long. I’ll try to wait it out as long as I could. Hopefully by next week something would come up.

On a less sordid affair, in my valiant attempt to keep fatness at bay, I decided to cut my rice intake completely off. It was… painful. A really hard decision to make. But I got inspired with Pakwan’s story and dicided that this potbelly has got to do. No rice. Again. Naturally.

I’ve also developed an ab exercise that is pure torture. Well actually, it ain’t really something I personally came up with, heheh but Pakwan gave me a few pointers. Obviously he’s on to me. So far there’s little result but then again, it’s only been a week. I think if I keep this up until December (which is impossible), coupled with my limited carb intake, I just might be beach-ready by February, muahahahah! The life of a vain person is such a sorrowful one.

I’m watching CSI: Miami again. Man, the CSI head honcho is still driving me bonkers. He has these chosen moments where he says one retarded one-liner, a spilt-second show of quiet intensity on-screen and then walks out of the scene like it’s nobody’s business. Dude, you’re solving a murder, stop acting like prissy bitch. It’s a wonder how Hugh Laurie manages to do the exact same thing without looking like a total douchebag. And that’s something since Dr. House is the perfect example of all-encompassing apathetic assholeness.

I’m zo bored. I wanna go home but I can’t because there’s this get-together thing this Saturday and they’ll hate me forever if I bail out. It’s not that I don’t wanna go, it’s just that I’m too tamad to go. I feel like I’m this fat, lazy cat that does nothing all day except chew on a yarn ball or scratch its butt raw.

***

Yesterday I met up with Pakwan who looked especially buff. Dude’s been working out, I see. Every gay man that came our way was staring at his pecs, hahahaha! I call him Totoy Bato now instead of Pakwan.

***

I started starving myself dieting again. I stayed away from Mang Inasal, Secret Recipe and Holy Cow. But Totoy Bato and I went to Amici and ate like a couple of starved out sailors. Mission failed. Will try again today.

***

Got a call from Ermy. He’s finalizing my application. I was told to wait until next week for one of his Yankee bosses to talk to me over the phone. Here’s to hoping I hope I won’t get too nervous and tongue-tied.

***

This client that wanted to hire me sent me an email yesterday for a job offer. I think there’s something wrong with the way I responded. I didn’t mean anything by it, but I was way too honest. Tsk. Hopefully he wasn’t too keen on that boo-boo.

***

I’m running out of moolah but that didn’t stop me from buying three books. I bought Dracula, Little Women and 20, 000 Leagues under the Sea. Yep, another batch of classics. This reminded me of the time I went book-shopping crazy for Jane Austen, herher. Currently, I’m in the middle of finishing Dracula. I was pretty excited about reading the book, herherher. It’s so good. I can see why this story spun a thousand spin-offs. I actually read Little Women back in College and again a couple of years ago but I wanna re-read it again. I just love Laurie… sigh.

The past couple of weeks were spent doing endless interviews and writing exams and I’m sooo tired of it. One company even made me wait for almost three fucking hours just for an interview. Seriously.

I don’t wanna sound like I’m a drama queen but making people wait for more than a couple of hours when clearly they have an appointment set on that particular time is just plain unprofessional and rude. What made matters worse was the bitchy receptionist. She knew I got there in time and was made to wait fo hours without complain and when I finally asked her if she can follow up my interview, she gave a curt “the meeting’s over, they’ll be be here shortly, there’s nothing I can do about it” on the same breath. The last thing I needed to hear is a snarky remark from an airhead receptionist pretending on doing something important (yes, it’s pretty obvious she wasn’t doing anything worthwhile and I’m not just saying this because I’m pissed). It’s like I asked her the most ridiculous question on Earth. I wanted to snap back but I couldn’t. I’m just an applicant, after all.

So I just gnashed my teeth in anger silently, waited patiently and still went ahead with the interview but I don’t think I’ll ever come back. I lost my enthusiasm.

A couple of friends sent word that their client is looking for a home-based writer and they had me in mind (bless their souls). I got the client’s approval yesterday and they wanna hire me right away. The money is good, actually. Better paying than all of the past companies I worked for including that stupid shithole.

The downside is it’s porn. I know, that’s where the money is but I’m a bit wary about going back to my roots. I told my sister about it and she confirmed what I’ve known for quite awhile, that Porn, though it’s the easiest way to earn bucks, might not be a good way for one to improve his/her craft. Maybe if I get desperate enough, I might take the job but for now, I still have loads of options.

Luckily, an old friend of mine called me up the other day and he was looking for an SEO writer. He’s one of the recruitment suit from a certain company and he told me he’d move heaven and Earth for the client to hire me. Yay. So there, got a couple of leads and if nothing comes up, I might seriously consider doing homebased gigs.