Archives for January 2009

Just when you thought Saturday would never come, it did. It’s like, empires rose and fell and it’s still Thursday. As planned, my best buds and I are gonna hang out for a much delayed needed bonding session. I swear, I really, really need someone to talk to because the boredom I’m enduring waiting for this day to come all week is driving me insane! I came close on wishing I was emo so that I could cut myself just to kill time. Hahaha! Okay, so that wasn’t really funny.

Lame jokes aside, I’m in a very good mood. So good, in fact, that I sent word to the ex-boss this morning telling her that after much deliberation, I’m resigning. There’s just no point in waiting. So this meant, I moved on from being a pseudo-quasi bum down to officially screwed unemployed, harhar. Actually, a couple of friends are nakapalan sa aking fezlaloo. They pointed out that this is like, the worst time to be a bum because of the whole worldwide economic crisis eklavoo (as always) but you know whuuut, to hell with it. It’s just recession, not the end of the world, dah-lings! A bit of bad news though, my gal pal’s big sister just got laid off. Wow. It’s everywhere these days.

There’s one thing bugging me though, I seem to be gaining weight. Okay, so maybe I just wolfed down five strips of bacon, a cup of rice, two slices of bread, a ginormous kaymito and half a mangosteen this morning, but that’ normal right? So where the hell did this pot-belly came from?! Maybe it’s the hormones?

Lastly, isn’t it annoying when people you really don’t want to talk to, springs out of nowhere and starts talking to you? And they don’t get that you’re being cryptic for a reason (take a wild guess).

They say the wrong things, being all in-your-face, annoys you so bad. Don’t get me wrong these people did nothing wrong it’s just for some strange reason, they rub me in the wrong way. Meh.

P.S.

Oh, on a totally unrelated note, I’ll be leaving the city on Sunday. Woohoo! Bye y’all!

After one and a half days of allowing myself to wallow in self pity over another rut I got myself in, I can now officially declare that I’m over the drama. That’s right, ’twas fast huh? That’s the great thing about sensing things are about to go coco fucking bananas months beforehand, folks.

I watched the news last night and as it turns out, I was actually part of a growing statistic. Filipinos are all getting laid off all over the world. I know it’s gonna sound bad but for a moment there, I was glad I wasn’t alone on this. It’s sad but hell, some people are probably faring much worse than this shit I’m in so thinking about that, I felt less angry.

I was thinking about shitload of things last night. Like, I realized I’ve been working non-stop for almost five years now and maybe it’s high time I give myself some slack. How it would be nice to go home and reconnect with people from my home town, that maybe I should use this time to go ahead with my plans to put up a business or try my luck abroad. Gosh, so many things are running inside my frazzled brain that I was at it until three in the morning (yes, my body clock is still fucking my shit up).

I’ll be on vacation, yes I will. I’ve been feeling the burn out since the middle of last year and hopefully when I get back I’ll have better perspective on things. I plan to head north once again and just  get away from the stress, even for a while.

Also, some people from the office said their good-byes. I have to admit it was a nice run and being able to say good-bye without feeling angry anymore was the best way to go. I’m keeping a stiff upper lip as I move forward.

… or something like that. The bad news is that I just had a sat down with the boss and it seems that they want me to go “on-call”, meaning that they were unable to find me a client for almost a month and I would have to stop pretending I’m working and wait it out until they score me a gig. The good news is that I have been anticipating this for months and I sure as hell saw this coming all the way from Pluto.

Personally, I know I am the weakest link among the four writers under my ex-bosses employ. I’ve been very vocal about just having a feeling that I’ll be the first to go since late November. It blows my mind how intuitive I can be sometimes.It’s not because I think my skills are far less superior compared to theirs, it’s just that my tendency to be such a hot head and my inability to tolerate stupidity and incompetence among my superiors didn’t help my cause.

My boss also tried to offer me some gig, the only catch was there will be no writing involved. I politely declined telling her that I know I won’t be happy doing something I don’t love and I hate doing half-assed work. She understood and told me to wait for their call. It would be unlikely for me to take that call seeing how badly they messed up my case. I’m having none of this again. Ever. I’m very dismayed. And livid. I can’t even articulate my feelings over this sudden bombshell. But you can bet I’ll try.

If there’s one thing I regret, it would be momentary lapse in judgment when I chose this gig over Iweb. Yes, I had to go that far. I know, I was too proud to admit it but I think that was a monumental mistake. People from my circle has grown tired of me harping out the same thing over and over again. I couldn’t help but drive myself crazy over this. I knew it was a bad idea but I was too tired, too angry, too disappointed and too impatient to think logically. So okay, I’ll admit it, I blew over my promotion, my increased salary and my annual increase just because my boss won’t let me chat with my friends. There, I admit it. However, that doesn’t mean I’ll be crawling back there any time soon as  my ego can’t take anymore beating.I just wish that that would be the last time my impatience will ever win me over. Maybe the next time I get a bright idea, I’ll just keep it to myself and not act it out, hahahhaha!

There are some things I just don’t get. We discussed something errr… totally revealing and if there were anything in our conversation that hit me right in the heart it would be that. I wanted to scream something like, “WTFF, are you fucking kidding me?! God, no wonder your company is going down.” Frankly, I don’t feel bad about stopping from going to work because of the God-forsaken shift and and the overall instability of the company but I just hated the fact that they are a mess when it comes to managing their finances.

I’m angry over the fact that they bruised my ego so badly,  I’m totally re-evaluating my skills in writing. She told me nothing from all of the numerous writing auditions I did ever went through and you might think I sound totally condescending but I couldn’t, for the life of me… never mind, I won’t say it. I know that my skills had nothing to do with the whole calling off thing but really, I’m not taking any chances. And lastly I’m livid with the fact that I chose to stick with them knowing full well that I’d be the first to go just because I was too naive, thinking they’re bound to get their shit together after some time.

I want to go on a shopping spree or on a food trip, just to blow some steam but at this point, that wouldn’t be a good idea. I can’t be unemployed, broke and fat all at the same time. I want to walk out right now except it’s four in the fucking morning. Ghaaaaaaaad. I’ll just gnash my teeth quietly while I smoke up a riot until the dawn breaks. Fuck them.

Perhaps, my dream vacation might come true after all.

I loved this band ever since a boy I used to know introduced me to one of their old hit, Read My Mind, which in my humble opinion, was one of the best song they every came up with.The lyrics were just as beautiful as the melody and it is still, my favorite The Killers song to date. Anyways, back to the other song. I just saw the MTV of their latest single, Spaceman and it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, much like their earlier hit song Human, but in a different light.

You see, for me, the song Human is catchy, cute and all that jazz but the message doesn’t really make sense. The song, in its entirety, felt like the boys were tossing random words to fit a certain melody. But that’s just me. The Spaceman song, on the other hand have quirky, extremely amusing lyrics and great melody but the video is just weird.

To be fair, Brandon never looked so hot. The whole goateed cowboy porn star look never really suited him. Also, I think he’s only one of the lucky few who can actually look good in a slut red velvet catsuit. However, watching the vid, I was kinda expecting something… not so far out there, you know? I mean, its artsy but it is also overwhelmingly fartsy. I’ve been listening to this song way before an actual video came out and I gotta say it was different from what I had in mind. Actually, the album Day and Age is light years different from Hot Fuss and Sam’s Town however, that’s just to show how versatile they are as artists. Also, I love it when they went techno pop-ish, I can’t get enough of their new songs!

The major suckage of the song Human as well as the video of Spaceman doesn’t change the fact that I’m in love with Brandon, that they are one of the greatest band out there today and that I would still be one of their avid listeners even if they try to pull a mean Discotheque on their fans in the near future. Yeah! Brandon Forevah!