Archives for August 2007

Kids, I’m warming up on my acceptance speech and it will be up probably on Monday (Be warned, it’s a long one. Explanation comes after I post it). If anyone is laughing because I’m taking the whole “Buffering Blog Award” thing seriously, all I can say is: Laugh all you want, but I’d still be milking this shit for a long, long time. To give justice to the award I just won, enjoy these videos. Oh, thanks to Lui for giving me the links for these. It’s Joey De Leon of Eat Bulaga! (exclamation point theirs, not mine) vs Willie Revillame of Wowowee (stupidity of the noontime show title theirs, not mine)

Living independently has it’s perks. I can go home for as late as I want, I can re-decorate my room without anyone complaining about the sordid color schemes I choose, hell, I can even eat ice cream for breakfast without the ‘rents breathing down my neck. But just like everything else, there are down-sides. You pay the bills, you clean your own room, you do your own laundry. It’s a pain in the ass but you gnash your teeth in silence because that’s what “being an adult” is all about.

For the most part I’d say I came in terms with these changes quite splendidly. Except for one thing, fixing a clogged sink. The apartment we transferred in a good two months back was already giving us problems the minute we opened the faucet, the water takes a hell lot of time to drain out, our mistake was dismissing this little incident as nothing short of an insignificant kink. I thought nothing more of it, boy, was I wrong.

Three weeks ago, it came to a point where we can’t use the damn sink anymore. My sister and the landlady had a talk about it. Seems like we couldn’t get them to fix it right away since the plumber is and will be unavailable for a good three weeks. We suggested that we look for another plumber but the dear ol’ landlady sez the plumber is under contract and it would be such a waste to find another one to replace him. The old crone suggested we pour boiling water on the sink until her stupid plumber comes (which we did but did absolutely nothing, we were desperate what can I say?)

I’m not exactly what you’d call a neat-freak but the sight of the clogged sink pissed me off everyday and I wouldn’t have it anymore. Our first thought was buying a large bottle of Liquid Sosa. Every single women would know Liquid Sosa does wonders, right? I mean, the commercial says: “Tunaw Agad and Bara” that kinda sums it all up, yeah? In theory, yes. We asked our all-knowing dear ol’ mom and she said that it’s nothing but a bunch of bullshit and suggested we use this thing instead:

Alam ko medyo tanga ha pero honestly, I don’t even know the name of this thing and my mom was throwing instructions on how to use it but from what little I gathered, it’ll take too slow and takes too much of an effort to do (not to mention, the mess you have to clean up after the “operation”).

*A reader was kind enough to fill the stupid author in on the name of the image displayed above:

“The first item your mom asked you to use is the good ole PLUNGER. Good for sinks, bathroom drains, and toilet bowls. Also good for the mouth for a comic relief or if you just want to be grossed out. Hehehe.”

Thanks, Sasi!*

We were stubbornly sticking to our Liquid Sosa theory until my mom brought me another contraption:

Now this looks promising. What you do is you stick the end of this motherfucker within the clogged pipe, give it a good push here and there and maybe twirl the contraption once or twice and it should get rid of the shit. Eager to clean the whole mess up right away, I gave it a go (this might be a good time to tell you that I inherited the balls in the family). I got the thing going under my mom’s instructions and it worked like a dream! Be warned though, that was the easy part.

The harder part was cleaning the contraption right after you got rid of the clogged muck. It’s strange that lots of tangled hair, mixed with mucky shit was the culprit behind the little incident that bothered us for nearly a month(let me take this opportunity to say, shame on the tenants who lived in our apartment for more than a year. A couple of doctors and yet they don’t have half the brain to know you shampoo your hair in the bathroom NOT on the sink. You stupid, shit-for-brain son of a whore!). I dunno which is worst, yanking those shitty fur out or smelling the fucking horrid odor while doing it. Shit man, it was gross! To get out of that one, I whined and whined until my sister did the yanking-out-thing for me, the balls I was talking about didn’t quite cover the grosser part of the job, y’know?

There it ends, ze sink that has been the bane of my mornings is finally in fine form again and I couldn’t be happier! Muy bien!

For all the urbanized single women out there with no man to help them out with this kind of shit, including the retarded ex-tenants of our present apartment, here’s a tip: Use a fucking sink strainer. Do yourself a favor, save yourself a lot of shitty mess and just fucking use one.